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Meet Dr Ollie, The World’s Smartest Dog!

June 8, 2017

By Paul Homewood



MOVE aside quokkas and black swans, Perth is now home to the world’s smartest dog, at least on paper.

Local “academic” Dr Olivia Doll — also known as Staffordshire terrier Ollie — sits on the editorial boards of seven international medical journals and has just been asked to review a research paper on the management of tumours.

Her impressive curriculum vitae lists her current role as senior lecturer at the Subiaco College of Veterinary Science and past associate of the Shenton Park Institute for Canine Refuge Studies — which is code for her earlier life in the dog refuge.

Ollie’s owner, veteran public health expert Mike Daube, decided to test how carefully some journals scrutinised their editorial reviewers, by inventing Dr Doll and making up her credentials.

The five-year-old pooch has managed to dupe a range of publications specialising in drug abuse, psychiatry and respiratory medicine into appointing her to their editorial boards.

Dr Doll has even been fast-tracked to the position of associate editor of the Global Journal of Addiction and Rehabilitation Medicine.

Several journals have published on their websites a supplied photo of Dr Doll, which is actually of a bespectacled Kylie Minogue.

Professor Daube said none of them smelt a rat, despite Dr Doll’s listed research interests in “the benefits of abdominal massage for medium-sized canines” and “the role of domestic canines in promoting optimal mental health in ageing males”.

Today Ollie is being featured in a more reputable publication, the Medical Journal of Australia’s Insight magazine, which is looking at the surge in journals which charge desperate would-be researchers up to $3000 to get their studies published.

“While this started as something light hearted, I think it is important to expose shams of this kind which prey on the gullible, especially young or naive academics and those from developing countries,” Professor Daube said.Mee

He said the authors would be gutted to know their papers were being reviewed by a dog, who often needed to be offered a treat before she dragged herself in front of the laptop. “It gives all researchers paws for thought,” Professor Daube said.

Dr Doll refused to comment unless she was taken for walkies.


Whatever next?

We might discover Mickey Mann is a real scientist!

  1. June 8, 2017 3:04 pm

    “We might discover Mickey Mann is a real scientist!” Yo’re avin a larf.

    It would appear that the medical research field and the climate “science” field are full of charlatans and fraudsters – but we knew the latter from Climategate.

  2. HotScot permalink
    June 8, 2017 3:05 pm

    That’s pawsitively pawsome!

    But where’s Dr. Dolls ‘Lab’ coat?

    And where’s the ‘Lab report’?

    That’s all folks……………

    • Mike Jackson permalink
      June 8, 2017 3:23 pm

      Not quite all, HotScot. The lab report was data from a CAT scan. I think that’s all, now.

      • HotScot permalink
        June 9, 2017 9:01 am

        You don’t pussyfoot around do you…….:)

        OK, we have to stop this.

    • Paddy permalink
      June 9, 2017 6:33 am

      Give her a Witch Doctorate.

  3. Mike Jackson permalink
    June 8, 2017 3:21 pm

    I seem to remember that Anthony Watts’ dog is a member of the Union of Concerned Scientists. He obviously established some kind of precedent.

  4. June 8, 2017 3:25 pm

    I’ve got three dogs; a munsterlander mix, a chihuahua / dachshund mix (cheweenie); and a poodle / lab (labradoodle). The munsterlander’s a working dog – like me he’s too “blue-collar” for all that high-falutin’ science stuff. He’s got birds to fetch. The Cheweenie is too sincere and high-strung; can’t have emotional attachments to play the science game. Now the labradoodle is a different story. Very intelligent, very energetic, very sneaky. I turn my back on that dog for a second and her snout is in the butter dish – so she might be good at getting grants for all the important research fields out there. And she’s absolutely shameless. All necessary qualities for a career in today’s post-modern science!

  5. Jack Broughton permalink
    June 8, 2017 3:45 pm

    It’s obvious from the junk that gets published as climate science that this dog, or gregole’s I guess, would do a better job than the so-called peer-reviewers that they crow about.

    The IPCC would be improved by such dogs too.

  6. AlecM permalink
    June 8, 2017 6:18 pm

    Perhaps this dawg is a prime example of Genetic Modification?

  7. June 8, 2017 8:38 pm

    “We might discover Mickey Mann is a real scientist!” ????? Doubt it.

    But, seriously, this speaks to Mann and his band of merry men at CRU in Climategare. With what they were pulling, they would have loved a dog to be their reviewer. It calls into question whether or not “peer review” has a useful place today. Maybe just publish your stuff and allow others to point out your rubbish in the next issue.

    • Graeme No.3 permalink
      June 8, 2017 9:08 pm

      Tut, Tut Joan. Mickey Mann doesn’t want people pointing out his rubbish, he sues but forgets to present any case.

  8. Athelstan permalink
    June 8, 2017 9:19 pm

    So that’s 97% consensus and all round, it’s a dogs dinner for the economy, thrice woe – the forecast is black, looking like the super volcano is about to go up if, the exit polls are to be believed……………..

    • dave permalink
      June 9, 2017 7:11 am

      The May government will have to dance to the tune of the Orange Order. So not so bad.
      Apparently, “her” manifestor was written by a certain youngster called Ben Gummer the son of a certain Lord Deben a.k.a. John Gummer. ‘Nuff said.

      • Athelstan permalink
        June 9, 2017 7:55 am

        you’d need a heart of stone…………….. not to laugh

        good riddance to a creepy chipmunk basted, immersed in the green fat.

        NOT that the alternative fills me with any great longing nor the merest smidgen of any sort of hope, crikey the media are jumping for joy, almost as bad as the day bliar waltzed into No 10….

        Will it CON-oncentrate minds……………..nope. See how, bribing the youth vote worked well for the Stalinists.

        And as with dozy theresa – all she did was to go after the left wing vote by pissing off her core support not least with, Daisy May’s, her addction to the green agenda – its sordid manifesto, commitment to the foreign aid rip off, she’s more PC than mad hattie and dancing and dithering on the response to the terrorist threat………………A total joke if, she actually thought she’d appeal to the UKIP vote?

        She’s a muppet, and now I know that, she’s also a ‘bungalow’.

  9. Bloke down the pub permalink
    June 9, 2017 9:08 am

    He said the authors would be gutted to know their papers were being reviewed by a dog

    I somehow doubt it. If they thought that by being reviewed by a dog, their paper was more likely to be published, they’d be as happy as Larry.

    • Bloke down the pub permalink
      June 9, 2017 9:10 am

      Of course, having got themselves published, I’m sure that they would not want the rest of the world to find out who reviewed it .

  10. dearieme permalink
    June 9, 2017 10:01 am

    (i) It shoulda been a collie – they genuinely are intelligent.

    (ii) Or a labrador, so that we could make feeble and predictable jokes about lab tests.

  11. It doesn't add up... permalink
    June 12, 2017 3:56 pm

    I can vouch for the benefits of canine massage carried out by qualified practitioners (who often seem to know more than vets about muscle and tissue injuries in dogs – diagnosing them with precision and treating them with physiotherapy, yet knowing when to yield to other expertise). Much more reliable than climate research I would suggest.


  1. World’s Smartest Dog Peer-Reviews Science Papers – Delingpole World

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