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Killer Toast Strikes Again!

February 17, 2019

By Paul Homewood


h/t Patsy Lacey



You can just see the death certificate now:






  1. Joe Public permalink
    February 17, 2019 5:52 pm

    Another counter to the risk-averse who are now trying to ban diesels.

    The ones who also want to ban nukes, but eat bananas.

  2. February 17, 2019 5:58 pm

    This wasn’t an early April 1 edition or from The Onion.

    I don’t think science was advanced much by this new definition of “you’re toast.” I suppose it can be mitigated by reversing energy efficiency and increasing the air turnovers. It will work really well in the bitter cold.

    40,000 deaths per year from “air pollution?” I suppose all those are on death certificates.

  3. Joe Public permalink
    February 17, 2019 5:59 pm

    Place your bets as to how long before some ‘Elf ‘n Safety bod invents their ‘Safe Toast’ equivalent to the Fitzpatrick Scale:

    Click to access FitzpatrickSkinType.pdf

  4. Immune to propaganda permalink
    February 17, 2019 6:00 pm

    It would be funny, but toast taxes are not beyond the realms of reality!

    • February 17, 2019 6:47 pm

      But those taxes would only affect the well-bred

      • HotScot permalink
        February 17, 2019 7:09 pm

        I toast Bagels.

        Wouldn’t it be crime against ethnicity to tax toasting Bagels?

      • February 18, 2019 12:30 pm

        You’re just trying to butter us up. Thanks for the crumbs.

    • Russ Wood permalink
      February 20, 2019 11:11 am

      Well, Jasper Ffordes novels DID introduce “The Toast Marketing Board”….

  5. February 17, 2019 8:20 pm

    This highlights a common fallacy
    that what counts is not the pollution OUTPUT in the middle of the road where the pollution monitoring station
    but rather pollution INPUT into your lungs
    .. and since you spend 22hours/day indoors in home/school/office
    ..the biggest part of your daily input might well come from stuff in your kitchen/bathroom NOT some diesel that you walked past for 5 minutes.

    • February 17, 2019 8:26 pm

      There was a similar “wrong goal post” fallacy on Friday
      many said the they were doing the CLIMATE strike cos they wanted less AP Air Pollution
      ..doh the are two different things
      anti CO2 Climate measures often increase air pollution
      … eg by increasing biomass or wood burning stoves.
      … cos they’re dirtier burning than gas and even coal at Drax.

      • Immune to propaganda permalink
        February 18, 2019 12:42 pm

        Don’t expect to see our politicians acting with common sense anytime soon!

  6. Jackington permalink
    February 17, 2019 8:44 pm

    The rules of Cluedo will have to be re written e.g. it was Col Mustard in the kitchen with the toaster.

  7. sixlittlerabbits permalink
    February 17, 2019 8:44 pm

    Oh, please, give us a break. What a stupid and silly study! So glad I came to my senses and eat as I did in my childhood. Eggs (every day) and bacon and toast. Lots of meat. Too much pasta, rice, and I lose my energy. My dear grandmother ate cream and breaded pork chops and lived to be 82.

  8. Malcolm Carter permalink
    February 17, 2019 9:02 pm

    When is a pollutant a pollutant? Ethanol is mentioned although it would also be released as a yeast waste while proofing bread. My experience with copious amounts of ethanol (anecdotal) is that the body metabolizes it overnight. This research reeks of fear mongering to get a grant. Note that despite everything getting worse life expectancy continues upwards.

  9. February 17, 2019 10:20 pm

    Who needs half-burnt bread anyway? 🙂

    • Athelstan. permalink
      February 17, 2019 11:47 pm


      Mmm, we find it a useful and digestible method of eating stale bread about which the bigger supermarkets craftily re heat loaves left over from the previous day and sell them as ‘fresh’. We are not alone in finding that, the grains of wheat used in modern bakeries are hopeless for making good dough and decent bread. We can’t afford nor would we even if we so to speak had the ‘dough’ use one of these posh bakeries. Luck would have it, however near to us we have a rather nice Polish bakery and where, sometimes I buy ‘black bread’ just for a change!


  10. martinbrumby permalink
    February 17, 2019 11:15 pm

    A more sensible Daily Mail headline miğht be

    “Supposedly toxic air pollution at busy traffic junction actually even less of a problem than making a slice of toast. “

    • Graeme No.3 permalink
      February 17, 2019 11:33 pm

      Or perhaps “Making toast at a busy intersection doubles your chances of death”.

      • Athelstan. permalink
        February 17, 2019 11:49 pm

        i’ll drink a toast to that!

  11. February 17, 2019 11:15 pm

    OMG, scented candles as well – quick, ban them!

    More worrying still – gas cookers. Will someone please think of the children? They’re clearly at risk, each and every day, up and down the country.

    We should get Greta Thunberg and Youth Strike 4 Climate on the case, immediately. The survival of the planet is at stake. No more cooked breakfast pollution! No more toxic school run!

    Kids should insist on walking or jogging to school – after a healthy breakfast of raw carrots and tap water.

  12. Athelstan. permalink
    February 17, 2019 11:28 pm

    What next ban toasters next to diesel cars, why aren’t they banning non electric trains and all shipping?
    Good grief, how long before or, when is this insanity going to shut down the world and are they listening in China/India or anywhere else in the known world other than the London chatterati/westminster bubble?

    The mommy’s boy society, since circa the mid 90s, was, always very risk averse has gone up a gear into full mental overdrive.
    Everything in sufficient dosage can be a poison, life is a compromise and do things in modicum and with thoughts to careful temperance. The puritanicals are going Nth degree as is their wont, and thrusting their mad green anti aught agenda down the throats of the UK public and because the government pays ’em to do just that, panic is what they seek to sell.
    Tomorrow’s news rags will carry a story about boiling, not roasting your Sunday joint and so it goes, we beg, what of the food catering industry and more particularly steak houses?

    Good ventilation in a kitchen has always been a must and if you happen not to use your extractor fan, more fool you, or open a bloody window. Restaurants, should be covered by the H&S act.

    I do no choose to carbonize my food, though I prefer stuff well done and toast slightly overdone, that is my preference and the world and his dog can do one, if they think that me and my family will ever change because some ‘talking head expert from the nanny state BMA’ tells us, me not to.

  13. It doesn't add up... permalink
    February 18, 2019 12:13 am

    Did they research AGA toast? All done with the hob lid down, apart from briefly when you flip it or remove it.

  14. Bitter&twisted permalink
    February 18, 2019 7:53 am

    Well toast “pollution” really puts dirty diesels in perspective.

  15. Phoenix44 permalink
    February 18, 2019 8:23 am

    Probably true – but what that shows is traffic pollution is also almost entirely harmless.

  16. February 18, 2019 9:23 am

    Reblogged this on ajmarciniak.

  17. Athelstan. permalink
    February 18, 2019 10:32 am

    In no Apology to make, in an act of defiance and in two fingered gesture to the HMG and in solidarity with toast lovers the globe over, this morning I had eggs on toast!

  18. February 18, 2019 12:36 pm

    Dang, I just had breakfast of strawberry/banana smoothie with homemade Greek yogurt. HOWEVER, this discussion has me thinking of a piece of sourdough toast with my recently made Meyer lemon marmalade.

    This is a perfect illustration of what happens when universities demand that faculty and students bring in government grant monies. It is time to shut off their money spigot.

  19. February 25, 2019 4:30 pm

    But what if you love the smell of toast pollution in the morning ?

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