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If AOC Did Not Exist, You Would Have To Invent Her

March 22, 2019

By Paul Homewood


There used to be rumours that Tony Benn/AKA Anthony Wedgewood Benn/AKA Viscount Stansgate was a Tory plant. After all surely nobody besides a few Trots would buy into his far left claptrap, which he was trying to convert the Labour Party to in the 1980s.

It seems the US now have their own version, Tony Benn Mark II:


From The Federalist:


My dearest Alexandria,

I love you. I love you platonically, unconditionally, and without reservations. My adoration for you knows no bounds. Alexandria, you are the best thing that’s happened to us since California politicians four times your age discovered Botox.

Back in 2018, you expressed strong opinions about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. From your confused babbling about the “occupation of Palestine” and “two-state solutions,” it was fairly clear that you had no idea who was doing what to whom over there. I knew right there and then that, even though you and I will never meet, our destinies were intertwined.

Alexandria, unlike the rest of us, you already live in your own personal socialist paradise. A true socialist, you live in a high-end luxury apartment in Washington, cruise around in monster gas-guzzling SUVs, and fly on airplanes the short distance to New York instead of taking the train (because trains and small cars are for the little people).

Remember the nearly $1 million that magically vanished from your campaign coffers and ended up with some shady fly-by-night P.O. Box outfit owned by (oddly enough) you and your campaign manager?  If a Republican did it, people would call it thievery.  But, really, why not use other people’s money to live the good socialist life?

If you didn’t exist, Republicans would have had to invent you; that’s how important you are. Your Green New Deal was a brilliant master stroke. Many people on the right and left thought the whole thing was a plant, concocted to discredit the very idea of global warming. It did all that, and more.

Nancy nearly choked on her pearls. Nancy thought the Green New Deal was a lunatic mish-mash of brainless gibberish (although she wasn’t nearly so charitable when she finally spoke). Unions howled in protest about the millions of union jobs at risk.

Your Boston University diploma says “international relations and economics.” Economists (real ones) say the Green New Deal would cost $93 trillion. The entire observable universe doesn’t have $93 trillion. But, who cares, right?

John Maynard Keynes is turning over in his grave, but he is a dead white guy, so who cares? Milton Friedman would be ashamed if he were alive, if he saw the state of American higher education. But he is also dead (and white, or at least he was, before he became dead) and a good deal problematic. You prefer such luminaries and wildly successful economic practitioners as Nicolas Maduro, Hugo Chavez, and Fidel Castro.

And that whole $93 trillion criticism of you is just ridiculously unfair. I know you have difficulties with numbers. A million, a billion, a trillion—it’s all the same to you. It’s not like it’s your money, right?

Prehistoric cavepersons (is that the right term?) used their fingers for math: one woolly mammoth, two woolly mammoths, three woolly mammoths, four woolly mammoths, many woolly mammoths. That was good enough for them—but your intellectual triumph came when you started using all ten fingers to do math. Thus, the Green New Deal was born. Just imagine the possibilities if you also used your toes!

Alexandria, many people on the right (and some on the left!) want to stifle your strong, passionate voice. Shame! On! Them! Because you contribute so much to our national discourse, I want to see more of you. I want our entire political universe to be all you, all the time. I want you to go even more viral. I want your lipsticked face plastered on buses, taxicabs, subway trains, and pizza delivery vans.

I want you on the front page of every newspaper—above the fold, every day. I want you interviewed on every cable news show — daily. I want you to have your own news show. And your own cooking show. And your own fashion show.

I want to see a weekly “Dancing with Ocasio-Cortez” TV extravaganza. I want you anchoring the evening news. You should be required viewing in every workplace, every airport, every prison cafeteria, and every DMV. I want you doing those airline safety videos they show on those little screens on airplanes.

I want you on the big screen, the small screen, and the tiny screen. I want DC Comics to make you into a new kind of superhero with super spending powers—The Socialister. I want you in the role of Princess Leia. And Boba Fett. And Jabba the Hut.

Alexandria, you are precious. You are truly a gift that keeps on giving. Silencing you would be a disaster for the GOP. You should be on every social network and mobile app known to man. Every search result from every search engine should be about you, and only you—regardless of the query.

With the lowest unemployment in living memory and five million jobs added, with businesses raising wages to retain workers, with the stock market shattering new heights after two years of spectacular economic growth, America has become a fetid hellhole of misery, woe, and despair. You should campaign in every contested congressional race to make things right again.

Any endangered Republican should pay you to give speeches supporting the other guy. They should lease a gulfstream jet so you and your boyfriend can travel in the ultimate socialist style. Given your already gigantic carbon footprint, it won’t make much difference to the planet.

Alexandria, you are Trump’s secret weapon. He is itching to see you out there on the campaign trail. Your stumping for the Democratic nominee will be priceless. The Donald has your photo as the home screen on his presidential iPhone. He is probably writing his second inauguration speech right now.

Alexandria, it is only because I care deeply about you that I must tell you how I truly feel about your legislative and public policy achievements. There is simply no sugarcoating this: detailed in-depth analysis of your “ideas” is the very definition of absurdity. I refuse to call you “stupid” because no one else in the entire recorded human history was ever stupid enough to make cow flatulence into a global warming issue. The notion that you have “Jewish” roots (as you’ve claimed) is unworthy of discussion—no one in his or her right mind believes it.

You recently said that the world will end in 12 years and wondered if it was morally acceptable to have children. You were right to wonder; you should not have children. Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes (another dead white guy) once said: “Three generations of imbeciles is enough.” In this very unique case, let us stop with one generation.

Alexandria, you are my hero.

Yours forever,

George Bardmesser

  1. March 22, 2019 11:05 pm

    The insane leading the blind.

  2. spetzer86 permalink
    March 22, 2019 11:08 pm

    If only American twenty-somethings didn’t think she was the cat’s pajamas. Not that they’d get the reference. The whole lot of them have been baked on the PC alter since grade school. Some will have made it through more-or-less intact, but many won’t be so lucky. The poor woke innocents won’t know what hit them if their hoped for socialist dream ever materializes.

    • Duker permalink
      March 24, 2019 5:36 am

      She may be misguided about Climate but she has to take security where she lives seriously
      “A man was just arrested last week with a stockpile of guns specifically trying to kill me & others, so yeah I’m not gonna disclose my personal address or tell people when I move. Sorry!”

  3. Broadlands permalink
    March 23, 2019 12:41 am

    To find some real answers about Ms. AOC, search and locate (if you can) where Ms. AOC gets her climate expertise. She will be no different? The same goes for all the other politicians on the left who have been “hand wringing” in despair over our catastrophic future unless we “act now”. That would include Al Gore? John Kerry? Bernie Sanders? Mr. Obama? Their collective “balls of string” seem to lead back to NASA/GISS physicists in the late 1970s? Where else? Who else? Preaching climate “Armageddon” while testifying to the US Congress? Then complaining that the Paris Accord didn’t go far enough?

    But, don’t stop with the climate education of politicians. Find out where some “me-too” billionaires learn about climate and extreme weather. Same places? The young AOC is a well-fed step-child of these “Chicken Littles”..all trying to climb a political “Bean Stalk”..and in twelve years?

    • dennisambler permalink
      March 23, 2019 8:56 am

      “NASA/GISS physicists in the late 1970s? Where else? Who else?”

      CRU for starters, with Potsdam in the wings, now aided and abetted by the plethora of new climate institutes, that sprang up like mushrooms after the Kyoto Accord in 1997, and are still being created and funded.

  4. HotScot permalink
    March 23, 2019 1:01 am

    She is a sacrificial lamb being led to the slaughter by political wolves.

    When the climate stuff gets rough, they’ll toss her to the wolves as a diversion. In fact, they already have.

    Nobody of any political standing makes outrageous claims like her and lives (politically) to tell the tale. She imagines she has a political career ahead of her? She’ll be working as a barmaid again very soon.

    AOC is the American equivalent of our very own Diane Abbott. A hard working PR stunt who conforms to the term “any publicity is good publicity” but if Corbyn ever gets into No. 10 she will exist for a political minute. Any longer and she’ll be savaged by McDonnell.

    Like Diane Abbott is to the labour party, AOC is to the American Democrats.

    Just bait.

    Poor kid.

    • Patrick healy permalink
      March 24, 2019 5:43 pm

      I thought there was another asylum keeper.
      Have you heard of Bernie Sanders?

  5. TomO permalink
    March 23, 2019 1:27 am

    Be aware that The Justice Democrats have a production line of AOC-alike sock puppets.

    AOC’s career trajectory

    Even if she self destructs – the chute is loaded with loads more – some of the usual suspect funding will lubricate it.

    Once you’ve seen her have to ad-lib off the end of her script – you can’t unsee it

    • dave permalink
      March 23, 2019 11:08 am

      Looks like she does not understand wind-power!

      • A C Osborn permalink
        March 23, 2019 11:51 am

        She does not understand, full stop.

      • Harry Passfield permalink
        March 23, 2019 9:05 pm

        Like Claire Perry.

      • dave permalink
        March 26, 2019 6:51 am

        I was referring to her bad-hair day.

    • It doesn't add up... permalink
      March 23, 2019 12:50 pm

      Just like Diane Abbott, or almost all the sock puppet MPs you will find in Labour, the SNP and the Tories.

  6. MrGrimNasty permalink
    March 23, 2019 10:35 am

    Clear your diary, BBC climate propagandafest ahoy:-

  7. Christopher Lynch Lynch permalink
    March 23, 2019 12:29 pm

    I always believed that vacuous eyes were the outward indication of either sociopathy or profound intellectual limitations. You can decide which cap fits in the case of AOC’s blank stare.

  8. March 24, 2019 11:06 am

    It is surfacing that she might actually be an actress playing a role for which she is unsuited. There is some reason to believe that some of the loonie left put out for someone to fill this slot and her brother nominated her. This is not a joke, although she seems to be. When she gets off her limited script, she flounders cluelessly.

    Before you dismiss this, remember we had Barack Hussein Obama, aka Barry Soetoro, for 8 long years.

  9. Gamecock permalink
    March 26, 2019 12:53 am

    The Brains Behind AOC – Mr Reagan:

    Lest you think this is goofball conspiracy stuff, do some internet searching on Justice Democrats. This is not secret stuff, they aren’t hiding anything, it’s all out there on duh net to see.

    Part the second (Mr Reagan demotes Saikat):

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