Climate Change Causes Beetles To Vanish!
By Paul Homewood
Scientists have warned of a dramatic and unexplained decline in the number of beetles in Britain, according to the Daily Telegraph.
A study which monitored dozens of Britain’s most common beetle varieties found that three quarters of them have seen their populations plummet in the last 15 years, according to the Journal of Applied Ecology.
The scientists who wrote the report admit they have not got a clue what has caused this decline, but say possible causes of the decline are changes to habitats and climate change.
Apparently, in a country where temperatures can vary by 30C from winter to summer, 4C on average from North to South, and often 10C or more from day to night, the poor little devils simply cannot cope when temperatures go up by half a degree.
The clue, of course, lies in the announcement that “Further research is planned.” No doubt the mention of climate change will add a few noughts to the grant they get.
Meantime, if they want to know more about the decline, I advise them to ask Yoko Ono!
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NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW THAT 
A ‘possible’ cause of decline is visits from aliens who harvest the beetles for food. Not probable though.
Winter before last we had the coldest weather for many many years. I have not seen, or have seen a reduction in, several creatures since then – wrens, snails, slugs, thrushes , hedgehogs, bumble-bees – to name a few.
Also the serious quantities of rain we have had this year will have drowned or seriously disturbed anything that lives on or under the ground.
That was actually my thought, Bill.
They say that the decline has really been centred in mountainous areas, and numbers have actually increased in lowland parts. That says to me, the extreme cold winters lately may have had an effect. So far this is simply weather, but if the scientists think the colder weather is what the climate is changing to, perhaps they might like to let the rest of us know.
….. but they wouldn’t be able to get the words out without choking.
Perhaps they can’t stand the noise from wind turbines. The 31% decline on moorland reinforces my theory. I note that the Telegraph reporter thinks that beetles, which can see no further than the next blade of grass, “have seen their populations plummet in the last 15 years”. Beetles doing population surveys – whatever next?
Obviously it is climate change!
The excessive amount of toxic atmospheric CO2 has asphyxiated the majority of them, and the survivors have died of heat exhaustion brought-on by the incredible warming all that CO2 has generated.
I recommend that this science research team immediately apply for much larger grant and access time to very powerful computers. This will allow them to accurately model this effect and prove climate change is to blame.
/sarc off.
It’s a warning of impending Divine Vengeance. Darwin noted that God must love beetles, as he made so many different kinds of them. Woe to us if we’re wiping them out!