The Emma Awards

By Paul Homewood

 

We have a winner!

London-based climate policy NGO, the Global Warming Policy Forum (GWPF), has announced that it is to name its annual awards for the world’s greatest eco-hypocrites after Hollywood actress Emma Thompson.

Thompson’s lack of self-awareness propelled her to the front pages of newspapers around the world this year after she flew first class across the Atlantic to attend a climate protest in London, before jetting back, champagne glass in hand, in the same fashion.

The announcement comes as the GWPF celebrates eco-hypocrites everywhere in its inaugural competition for the World’s Greatest Climate Hypocrite Awards.

Thompson’s performance saw her scoop the prize in the Luvvie category as well as the overall award. Former US President Barack Obama won the prize in the Politician category, while Richard Branson took the laurels in the Business class.

Forum director Dr Benny Peiser paid tribute to Ms Thompson’s abilities:

Emma Thompson is a legend in the world of luvvie hypocrisy. But her shamelessness has now propelled her to the very top of the field. There are brass-necked business people and sanctimonious politicians aplenty, but none can match our Emma; she really is a worthy first winner of our prestigious new award.

We also felt such achievement should be honoured on a permanent basis. We are therefore pleased to announce that our annual eco-hypocrisy prizes will henceforward be known at “The Emmas”.

Ms Thompson was unavailable for comment.

Announcing the Emmas: We have found the world’s greatest climate hypocrites!

There was huge interest in our inaugural competition to find the World’s Greatest Climate Hypocrite. Competition has been fierce, with green-minded people all over the world apparently upping the volume on their sanctimonious speeches and taking pointless first-class flights in a bid to win one of these prestigious awards.

Nominations have flooded in from all over the place, with fans of the frontrunners making carefully argued cases that their boy (or gal) is the one truly deserving of the big prize. It has been no easy task for the judges to pick the winners. Nevertheless, we have reached a decision.

Preening politicians

In the Politician category, we had several nominations from down under, with the brass necks of Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turnbull – both fervent climate preachers and dedicated international travellers – winning the admiration of all. The Green Party’s Caroline Lucas also enjoyed strong support. To spend decades lecturing everyone on their carbon footprint while enjoying regular transatlantic flights to see the family is the kind of chutzpah that our judges really admire. But in the final reckoning, we decided that prize for most shameless eco-politician of 2020 should be awarded to former US President Barack Obama, who famously pressed the pause button on his sea-level rise sermonising just long enough to buy a multi-million dollar home in Martha’s Vineyard. Congratulations, Mr Obama, you are one of a kind!

Business busibodies

It’s fair to say that competition in the Business category was not so hot. Elon Musk had a good following, as did Google’s Larry Page and Sergey Brin, men with carbon footprints to rival many small nations, but who managed to make themselves feel better about themselves by flying lots of luvvie mates halfway round the world for a climate conference. When men with the entrepreneurial drive of Page and Brin put their minds to virtue signalling, you know that emissions are going to rise! But the judges’ favourite was airline tycoon Richard Branson, who not only jets himself around the world (in particular to his private island in the Caribbean) but also jets millions of other people around the place too, all the while lecturing them about their carbon footprints. Never in the course of human sanctimony has such shamefacedness been shown to so many by so few. Richard, you are a worthy winner!

Loathsome luvvies

But it was in the Luvvie category that competition was the fiercest, with an array of more or less irritating celebs fighting it out for the big prize. Mega-thesp Mark Rylance proved that shipping a whole theatre production across the Atlantic is no barrier to berating the rest of us about our lifestyles. Surprisingly, Harrison Ford, expected to be one of the frontrunners because of his penchant for popping out to buy a burger in his private aeroplane, was not strongly supported, with movie fans instead strongly backing Leo DiCaprio. And let’s face it, lecturing people on climate change from one of the jacuzzis on your private yacht does represent a remarkable talent. If you could make a living out of hypocrisy, Leo would be a rich man all over again.

But once again, there was a clear winner. A lady who flew first class across the Atlantic to join a climate protest, scorned the idea that she might go cattle class, then flew back again while supping on carpaccio and champagne, is someone who has honed their hypocrisy like no other. With the overwhelming support of the judges and of GWPF readers, the Luvvie Hypocrite and also our World’s Greatest Hypocrite of 2019 is Emma Thompson. Go Emma!

What Ms Thompson has achieved is truly extraordinary, and so, in a bid to create a more permanent monument to her sanctimony, the judges are pleased to announce that henceforward our ecohypocrite prizes will be awarded annually and will be known as: The Emmas

We just can’t wait to see who wins in 2020!

https://www.thegwpf.com/the-emmas-major-new-eco-awards-named-after-emma-thompson/