UK Government to Announce New Energy Policies
By Paul Homewood
Euan Mearns has news of the government’s new energy policies:
Amidst Brexit chaos, the Prime Minister will today introduce a white paper to Parliament detailing the Government’s new energy strategy. Stunned by criticism that she has failed to listen, the new policies will take full cognisance of the concerns recently raised by striking school children. The new policy has 4 main strands. The Downing Street press release is below the fold.
[BEGINS] In view of the grave concerns raised by 5 to 17 year old children on the impact of CO2 on Earth’s climate, Her Majesty’s government will today introduce legislation that will address the most pressing issue of our times, namely CO2 emissions and the ensuing climate mayhem that they cause (Exhibit 1, Appendix 1). CO2 has risen to record levels from 0.0280% (pre-industrial) to 0.0405% today (see endnote 1). The new energy policy has four main strands:
1. Adult only flights
As of 1 January 2020 juveniles below the age of 18 will no longer be allowed to fly on commercial flights within the UK and between the UK and foreign destinations. A reciprocal arrangement will apply to incoming flights that will not be allowed to land on British soil if there are juveniles on board. The government appreciates this will have a major impact on family holidays and tourism. But that is the policy goal. We can no longer countenance families flying all over the place simply for the sake of seeking some sunshine. Tourism is one of the most useless and resource wasteful activities known to Mankind. What is the point in wrecking Earth’s climate to go and gaze at the Eiffel Tower or to go visit Euro Disney when an equally enjoyable time can be had at our home grown attractions of the Blackpool Tower and Center Parcs (Figures 1 and 2).
Figure 1 Eiffel Tower left and Blackpool Tower right. What is the point in taking kids to Paris when Blackpool is just as good!
Figure 2 Center Parcs (right) every bit as good as EuroDisney (left).
The government appreciates this is going to have a catastrophic impact on the airline and airport industries. That is the whole point of the policy. We can longer countenance giving shelter to evil polluting companies on these islands. The UK will press our allies throughout the OECD to follow suit. Given time this should also have a catastrophic impact on the airliner manufacturing sectors where we expect Rolls Royce (engines) and BAE systems (wings) to be hardest hit. We point to the troubled Jaguar Landrover, caused by government policy, as a shining example of government aptitude at wrecking British industry.
Figure 3 St Tropez left. And just around the corner from Blackpool in N wales is the stunning beach at Rhyl offering magnificent views of the offshore wind farms.
Read the full report here.
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NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW THAT 
Very good!
🙂
Idiot me!
I believed this until para 2 🙂
Looks like a real election winner.
We shouldn’t give them ideas.
An excellent April fools. However, I think we all expect it could happen!
The Government has banned April fools because people can’t tell the difference anymore between reality and fake news.
Ha ha
Reblogged this on WeatherAction News and commented:
A stunning policy 🤣
And what is the date today, ….. 1 April…!
You almost had me. It’s April 1st right??
B rgds for a great website. Please keep it up.
Brian Jackson.
There are some who actually believe all of this is a good idea. So will I once the spaghetti tree harvest comes in.
CO2 has risen to record levels from 0.0280% (pre-industrial) to 0.0405%
Those numbers are tiny, which is one reason why it’s a non-issue – or should be. What difference are energy policies of the UK supposed to make? Give us a break.
Given the benefits of increasing the atmospheric CO2 we should be celebrating our inability to “Mitigate Carbon”.
Indeed, but try telling the Canadian government that…
Canada imposes carbon tax on four provinces with no climate plans
https://phys.org/news/2019-04-canada-imposes-carbon-tax-provinces.html
This must be the hardest 1st April in history with the papers full of the Brexit crisis where the House of Fools takes centre stage. All of their coverage is foolish which makes this report almost factual.
Why not give your parliament a break? Let them have 365 “Fool Days” per year.
Another strand which could be added is that along with mobiles all xboxes will only be permitted if powered by wind or solar
Hang on! which is daftest? Labours energy policy or the Tories New Energy Policy? Surely it cant be worse can it? Compared to Labour’s effort it looks quite sensible
Compared to current policies it looks quite sensible.
Sadly I could believe anything from our current set of politicians.
The summer of 2019 was warm, with temperatures reaching 38 degrees in Gravesend & London
“And in London it will be 40 Celsius” stated a popular broad sheet on its front page in June 2019.
Now for the weather in July 2080: The government controlled Met Office is predicting a Mediterranean–style summers for Devon and a steamy 42C in London writes Jonathan Leake, based on Professor Parnell’s prophecies and 0.041ppm of CO2 in the atmosphere.
People go abroad for that kind of weather, but well before 2080, in 2019, predictably the British summer came to a sudden end in early October with torrential rain, hail and thunderstorms and as ever, severe weather warnings were sent out, variously alerting, traumatising, patronising & controlling the population. The storms are given names to add to the theatre largely controlled by the BBC and the Times.
The rains, now described as monsoons, were soon followed by cool and damp winds from the NW Atlantic. Flash floods occurred in Cumbria. The worst floods since the last worst floods were recorded, and Government, now in control of all aspects of life, again deliberately and otherwise ignored the real issues, as they did in Bali, Kyoto and Copenhagen, and sent an army of self-appointed consensus “scientists”, “experts” and spokespersons to Paris in a fleet of Jaguars to be lectured to by a school girl and a TV personality. As with their war dossier before that, government avoided the obvious, and returned leaving a carbon footprint as big as Manchester’s energy requirement for a year before buckling down to yet another lengthy break to complete their expense claims. The coldest winter for 57 years then set in. In early September the Met & Climate Change Office described “unusual weather patterns, extreme weather, a backing high” the bitter winds from the East. Government spin, myopia and ignorance continued to reign, the real issues obscured under the new Government imposed religion: Climate Change: All was linked to, and blamed on man-made global warming (AGW), denialists were hounded out. Meanwhile the last tiger was shot, the last turtle choked on a polythene bag, the forests of Aceh and Kalimantan were turned over to palm oil in the name of the environment, peace maker Blair flew to Bagdad and more “scientific” policy determining C02 measurements were made on the slopes of Mona Loa, an active volcano.
Some inkling as to what was unfolding had surfaced in the early to mid-21st Century, but such thoughts did not fit with government rhetoric, and for years thoughts of pursing natural gas, oil and coal based energy solutions were silenced by those that seemed to know what they were talking about. Yet no decision was made to go nuclear and by 2019 Britain heading towards being one of the poorest and most heavily populated countries in the western world. Many of the wind farm structures had rusted away, government grants gobbled up and the laughing profiteers long left our shores. With no funds to repair these obsolete symbols of the mindless polices of the age, the giant structures persisted, ripping into the sky in the few remaining open areas of our land. They could never return their embodied energy and never was there the thought given to the countless creatures killed by the seemingly harmless rotating blades.
In mid-October the winds swung violently to the NW, then due North and successive cold fronts swept down across Brussels controlled Scotland, and across the heavily policed borders into the former England & Wales; the leaves were stripped from the trees and we had the first frost in the South before the month was out. Fieldfares, Berwick Swans even a Snowy Owl made appearances in the month as far south as the Hampshire basin. In late October it snowed and snowed and did not stop, causing serious chaos throughout NW Europe, Russia, China and North America. Not since 1962 had we had such a bad winter and it had only just started.
As the year drew to a close there had been less than 10 days since the beginning of October where the temperatures rose above freezing anywhere in the UK. Some of the lowest temperatures were recorded in the steep and narrow valleys of the Chilterns, where once, less than 11,000 years ago, periglacial waters poured from the hills cutting deep channels in the permanently frozen chalk.
18,000 years ago the ice rested against the Chilterns, Icebergs floated on the Mediterranean and Montreal was under 3km of ice, this during the last of many glacial periods and 11,000 years ago, long before man was around in any numbers, the ice started its retreat to where we see it today, thousands of miles to the north (and to the south), with no variation in CO2 abundance.
The current interglacial had finally ended, not as warm as others, no hippopotami grazing off NW Scotland this time, but none-the less and despite the seeming might of the Blair/Brown administration, the Department of Energy and Climate Change, the UN ICCP at the turn of the century, temperatures did reach 41 degrees in London on the 21st of July 2019. However the warmth was short lived.
The end of an interglacial is marked by violent extremes of temperature and this can be seen in the pollen, beetle and other paleontological records, the interglacial itself is characterised by warm periods, which allowed the Romans to cultivate vines as far north as in Hull, and the Vikings briefly colonised the then green Greenland when CO2 levels were much lower, but once over, as with global warming man cannot control global cooling.
The snows never melted in the following summer and thick accumulations of ice and snow lay on all hills from Land’s End to the Shetlands, the sea remained frozen along the East coast and 2020 was the coldest year on record, minus 50C was recorded in Trafalgar Square on New Year’s Eve 2020, however no one was out to celebrate.
Britain had no infrastructure left, it had not been prepared for the return of the ice age, had long ago run down all its businesses to be carbon neutral, the entire population was now on move to escape Icehouse wishing for Greenhouse to return, and were camped on the northern borders of Mali, Mauritania, Niger, Chad and Sudan in the sleet and rain, but most refused entry.
The next ice age lasted 180,000 years.
Chris MD
Previously submitted to the Times but never published
I agree, I might be late for work after reading it all though!
Ha Ha, I get the double bluff of posting this on the 1st of April, but what’s not to like, these new energy policies will be a boon for our local tourist attractions .